Teen girls charged in nursing home abuse

I agree that they only received a slap on the wrist for something very horrendous and despicable.  Much shame of them and hopefully what comes around goes around.  But also shame on our court system for letting them off easy....

GOOD IDEA!  These girls are SICK!

ABSOLUTELY!  That is the minimum punishment that should occur with these girls. 

How disrespectful!  The persons in nursing homes deserve better than that. 

These girls should have had their rears spanked when they were 5....and did something wrong....now they need to know what restraint and bad treatment feels like....jail, baby, jail.....

I agree... but this time perhaps they could go to prison and scrub toilets.

Taking care of my grandfather was the best present I could have given him before his passing... he was 94 years old and was the man that taught me all there is to know and I owed it to him.

I agree w/factuallycatty.  They should be registered as sex offenders and punished to the furthest extent of the law.  Also, I don't necessarily believe that this is the fault of the parents.  These girls are in my opinion are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong regardless of what they have been taught.  Parents are always the first to be blamed for choices that their grown children make.  When do we wean kids off and let them take responsibity for their own decisions???

Mother of Two...I agree that parents are not responsible for the choices of their grown children, but I heard the father say in an interview his daughter did nothing that was not required by her job.  These girls might have thought looking cute would keep them out of trouble.  They may or may not spent time in jail, but certainly their futures will be bleak.  Every college and future career will look them up online and see what kind of monsters they are.

Thank God for the internet! It's the only place there's a guarantee of forced accountability for the dear little princesses, overindulged, over-sexed and as much brains as a flea.

I can't believe they aren't being charged as sex offenders.., this is very appalling, todays youth is sad, parents need to stand up and take back there rights and discipline these kids, teach respect, morals and values..These girls belong in jail period, I don't care how pretty or rich, popular they broke the law and maybe its time nursing homes enact some policies to prevent this kinda thing again, starting with age req. and experienced training before working with elderly..Lord help the children they create and the parents when they need helping hand...don't think they will change !!

I totally agree, these girls need to be labeled as sex offenders.  If it where a male accused of this, there would be more of an uproar.  What is good for the goose is good for the gander (or in this case vice versa, with gander being the male, but I digress).  These girls are spoiled brats who cruised through life with Mommy and/or Daddy taking care of them and covering for their mistakes, and tormenting those who are less beautiful/popular/rich/etc.  They can do the crime, they can do the time.  Period.

Fact of the matter is... they will NOT do jail time... they will get off, because well... we don't want them to waste away in jail for something so small now do we?? (insert sarcasim)

This is the definition of white trash, trailor park, ghetto scum.... the best thing that could happen is that they die in prision.... or get totally deformed in a horriable accident. Maybe some crazy nut will dump boric acid on their cute little faces so they can be deformed all their lives.... I hope to God they never have kids that are sick, or we might hear of infants being found in the trash can.... oh I forgot, they are probably lesbos, since they were groping at woman's breast...

sick scumbags...

These two pieces of trash should be be tried as adult sex offenders in a class action suit filed by the relatives of the victims. Since there were 8 kids who knew about this perversion a class action should be filed against the nursing home. What kind of incompetent ass is in charge of this place?

I second the class action on the nursing home and a suit against the two girls involved.

I KNOW what a tween is John - I was being sarcastic

This is so disgusting, I agree, theses girls should be punished to the full extent of the law, if not, then there is something very wrong with our legal system, if these were males, no matter what age, they would be going to jail!

literally kick the living crap

Really? Crap is alive, and you would kick them so hard that it came out of them? I think that you might want to go look up what "literally" means.

The angry posters on this story should remember what being a kid is like, and how much a pack mentality can fuel kids to do very cruel, and very stupid things. I think that a better punishment than what they got (or than what the packs here are suggesting) would be to give them a year's worth of community service. Clean up some garbage, work at some homeless shelters... seems like it'd be worth a shot.

The angry posters on this story should remember what being a kid is like, and how much a pack mentality can fuel kids to do very cruel, and very stupid things.

Aside for making excuse for these punks, what's your point?

They sexually assaulted these helpless people. Not just taunted them. They spit on them. No telling what else. Sorry but community service is not what they need. They commited a grivous crime and it looks like they may escape with a slap on the hand. Ridiculous if you ask me. Sexual assualt is not a laughing matter. Jail time is needed. These are adults, not children. They should be tried and if found quilty register for the rest of their lives as sex offenders.

From the article, it appears to me that these 2 were the oldest, and therefore they most likely led the pack and were not simply following along. When I was a kid, I would not have gone along with hitting or beating people. So I don't know what type of childhood you had that you think kids would simply follow along with this like good little puppies.

Karma is a b*tch girls - I hope you never grow old or get sick.

Jail time will teach them some lessons.

Aside for making excuse for these punks, what's your point?

That there are better ways to punish people than simply being vengeful. Such as... make them do community service and learn that they aren't the center of the world, and that what they do affects other people. Being vindictive won't change anything and, short of executing the two girls, it seems to me that society will have to deal with them again, at some point.

If they did this in a preschool to helpless children you would be thinking quite differently and that's bull@!$%#!!!!!!

You're right, I would. Good point. That's pretty biased.

If they are guilty they should spend a considerable amount of time in jail.  In the city of Los Angeles people go to jail for abusing animals so if these girls do not see hail time it is an injustice and an insult to the victims and their families.

To hell with these superficial, self-absorbed, snots.  Who are their parents and how are they feeling right now.  These two are adults so they should take full responsibility for their actions; their parents must be humiliated.

I'd almost agree if they weren't already doing a community service by taking care of the infirm and helpless.  They have no compassion as it is.  You can't make someone who has none suddenly get it in this case.   After hearing the one girl's father try to say that his daughter was just doing her job, I can see that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

That being said, when we have an equatable justice system, I might take what your saying seriously.  In the meantime, these girls absolutely deserve jail time.  If they have no humanity or compassion when taking care of those less fortunate now, not having any control over their existence is exactly what they need.

work at some homeless shelters

Oh yeah. That's a good idea. Put them in contact with even more victims. On the other hand...a homeless person would probably beat the crap out of them if these snotnosed brats even laid a finger on them. So maybe that is a good idea. Good thinking there Zom Zom.

The angry posters on this story should remember what being a kid is like, and how much a pack mentality can fuel kids to do very cruel, and very stupid things.

I remember it very clearly, thank you very much, and NEVER would I EVER have abused the helpless.  These girls are vile and need to be punished.  People like you excusing the worst behavior in society only make the problems worse.

Cooper:  i think it is important to remember the condition of the victims here.  In no other circumstance could these girls have done what they did (unless working with very young children).  These girls are simply bad people if they could not only carry it our but think it was funny.  Grabbing genitals?  I mean come on, that is one of the most vulgar things i have ever heard...spitting in their mouths????  What the f#ck is the matter with these creaps?  If i were these girls parents they would be getting a taste of the back of my hand!  I certainly wouldn't be defending them.

I say this based on the assumption that they are guilty, if they are innocent i was just kidding.

People like you excusing the worst behavior in society only make the problems worse.

I'm pretty sure that I didn't "excuse" anybody. I'm just saying that throwing people in jail or beating people (as is being suggested here) has a tendancy to make people worse, not better. And, since the girls are going to be a part of the same society as me, I'd prefer that their punishment be more fitting and reformative, rather than "You made them suffer, so now we make you suffer, neener neener!"

Community service, by the way, is suppervised (unlike volunteer work), so I think it's a good punishment because they would be forced to do good, helpful work.

I don't know about that, my mom got thrown in jail one time when she was 16 and her dad let her stay the night in there.  That's the last time she ever went to jail, she learned her lesson.  Sometimes that's what it takes.

Jail time for sure ! Imagine if that was your Grandma or even mom that this happened to. I would really like to read what the parents of these girls are thinking right now. Community service might be good, AFTER serving their time. If you slap em on the wrist and make em go pick up garbage, who's to say they wont do it again, and again.... and next time it just might be YOU !!!

I really think the relatives of these elderly people have no right to act surprised. First of all you place your senior citizen in the hands of strangers, then worse off, they are teenage strangers? Are you kidding me? You are willing to place frail relatives with a bunch of people that have yet to finish high school? There is a rank of guilt here, the guiltiest are the offenders, next the place that hired them and tied with them are the relatives that placed them there. Don't fake outrage people, you left them out there to keep them out of your sight, now you demand dignity! Shameless!

I think the word is twit...not tweens  ... or scumbags

I understand that jail has no benefit in making positive changes, however; It is does allow them to think about what they did.  I feel they should spend 3 months in jail and then therapy with community service.  The community service should be as demeaning as possible such as cleaning toilets or going to a dog park and clean up poop.  They should also have to hold a press conference to announce when they are doing the community service and wear big bright orange jump suits.  Why the three months?  Well it is not enough to make them into a hard criminal but it is enough to to think about what they did.  It also sucks as it is really boring and these girls seem like thrill seekers.  I know because I did not pay a traffic ticket and I had to wait three days in jail until I could see the judge as  I had no bail money.  I hated every minute of it as I was climbing the walls.  Why the punishment?  Well it is demeaning to be  cleaning poop while everyone is watching and laughing at you.

So, that's the excuse because they are teenagers that makes it OK! They should be accountable as adults! They are 18 and 19 yrs. old!  Go out and do Community Service, I don't think so!  Only sicko's think of stuff like that to do to other people, don't you think? 

I agree - My mom suffered from Alz and lived in a nursing home before she passed..if any of that stuff happened to my mom, surely i would have my own brand of justice, and i would not sleep until it was served!!!

There's a special spot in hell for elder abusers.  Nursing homes are not someplace you just "stick" your ailing parent or grandparent.  People don't want to put their parent there to begin with, but fear that they cannot give them adequate care at home. If you have not cared for a dementia patient at home, then you truly don't know how difficult it can be, not to mention unsafe if you do not have a medical background....what if the patient chokes on food, how quickly can you respond? What if the patient falls down...are you strong enough to pick them up? What about bathing? What about your own well-being? So please don't knock nursing homes themselves, but obviously there are good ones and bad ones. It's up to you to do your homework!

I completely agree with you.  I was thinking of my father as I read this article, as his health is failing as well, with Parkinson's disease.  If anyone touched him, spat on him, mocked him, I would get revenge, and that doesn't sound pretty or ladylike, but these people, the victims, are someone's mom or dad, and they are human beings.  The girls who did this are not human-they are horrible little creatures and they'll reap what they sow.   I actually felt like I would vomit as I read this story.  How horrible

I agree that was a mean generalization on those that do put loved ones in nursing homes. Try caring for a fully mobile person with severe dimentia in your home on your own for a month then come back and preach.

If these girls had done the same thing to 15-16 year old boys they'd probably get some jail time and would be registered sex offenders. 15-16 year old boys are much more capable of defending themselves than those with Alzheimer's or dimentia.

DXB002:  there are times when a nursing home is the only place for a loved one.  I had to place a loved one in a nursing home because their care became too skill required for me and I couldn't afford an in home care giver ( ~ $1500-2000/day).  Not everyone just "dumps" people there, some times it is the safest & sanest option for every one involved.  Have you cared for someone with dementia, physical disabilities and multiple medical issues?  It is not a cake walk.  CNAs are usually young, but should be supervised by the rest of the staff especially the charge nurse on duty. 

People keep saying girls/kids...these are not children. They are 18 and 19 right? That makes them women and an Adult. Adults know that if you grope and touch and molest someone who can not defend themselves it is sexual assualt. Period. I'm disgusted this is not being handled like an assault but simply teasing and picking on someone. They essentially tortured old people, it even says the patents would scream...where the heck are the facilities managers while patients are screaming and being molested? I hope the families sue and these woman are found guilty and forced to register as sex offenders.

ZOM ZOM

Good idea! Justify what they did because they are young and stupid....

Let me tell you something... I was young and stupid at one point in my life... but I NEVER... let me say this again so that you will understand... I NEVER HURT SOMEONE THAT WAS OLD AND SICK... NEVER.... that is mean... I was taught to CARE FOR PEOPLE that were old and sick...

these girls are monsters, for you to justify them and slap them on the wrist makes you as sick as they are. What if they did that to YOUR love one? OH yah, that would be different now won't it....

People like you trouble me... this is why criminals get off with a slap on the hand because of attitudes like yours.

DavidC123, I couldn't agree with you more!!!!

I agree she's SMOKIN!!

Not so hot when you realize she's grabbing the genitals of the elderly and spitting in their mouths while tormenting them.

Grow up.

Correct...what kind of environment would one need to be raised in to think that this kind of behavior is acceptable?  Maybe their mom, dad, older relative, or babysitter subjected them to similar treatment in the past.  Not an excuse by any means, however.

The kind of family who does not believe in discipline.  If a child is not disciplined for minor actions during the formable years this is the result.  We live in a society that fought to spare the rod and now we have to live with the consequences.

A family who considered their daughters perfect little princesses and never said NO, never taught them that other people matter, never taught them that their worth as humans can be directly related to their service to others.

In short... modern, "me-first" parenting.

As far as the family is concerned, i would agree with you wholeheartedly if they were a little younger.  These girls are adults and have lives outside of their homes for quite some time so we can't automatically blame their upbringing.  People do stupid sh!t all the time and chances are their parents would disapprove (i know i have but nothing as malicious and depraved as this of course).  By the time people get to the ages of these girls, they are there own beings and they make choices that don't necesarily reflect the kind of people their parents are.

I admit though you may be absolutely right; their parents may be freaks too.

What kind of family raises these types of people

I have no damn clue BUT Zom Zom Johnson and Goldfish...whatever the name, whose comments reflect the same disregard for others these girls showed,  could most certainly discuss their upbringing and you would have your answer!

 Their parents are partially responsible but ultimately these girls are old enough to be held solely accountable for what they did.  They deserve to be registered as sex offenders because that's what would  happen if they'd done the same things to little kids in a daycare, right?  Elderly abuse needs to be treated the same as child abuse. 

It just gets me that some parents these days don't believe in discipline or raising their children to be good people who care about those around them.  I wonder if these girls were working this job so it would look good on a college application or for some other self serving purpose.  It doesn't seem like they'd be there because they want to help. 

Agree with you there! Not only are they 19 and 18 years old, a part of the article said the father of one of the girls said this was being blown out of proportion and don't believe everything you hear or read. Rather shows the attitude of at least that man. What can you expect?

As is the problem today, parents (let me rephrase this and not generalize, SOME parents are ....etc) are raising kids without the word "NO" in their daily lives. Kids are given everything they want by parents who feel guilty because they have to work, and leave kids on their own.

Spoiled rotten little brats who can do no wrong, and feel that they will never get caught...or be punished.

Not to hijack this topic, but this reminds me of the very pretty school teacher who had intimate relations with one of her underage students and they said she'd never go to jail because "she was too pretty to go to jail".....

PUH-LEEEEZE!

These girls need to know what "NO" means for once in their lives, and be put where they cannot hurt anyone else for a long time. House arrest, no phone, no computers, no tv's.....sit them in their rooms and just let them ponder on their atrocious acts of inhumanity to our elders. Do they think that one day they will not be in the same situation?

Shame shame shame on not only them, but the people that raised such insensitve brats!

 /end of rant!

Over thirty years ago, in backwater Ohio, at a nursing home that was supposed to be "the best" in town, they hired teens.  I went with my friend that worked there, she was only 16.  She didn't tell the boss about the aide who sat on some old man's lap and slapped his face because she didn't want fired, nor her mother who also worked there.  Looking back, seeing her daubing the wounds of these old folks' bed sores, something I'd never seen before, it was gruesome and I never went back. 

No one seems to want to pay enough to give proper care, plus it is very difficult, I understand, to find people with such low job options that they even agree to do such an often unpleasant job.  Geez, even these old people's OWN FAMILIES won't do it.  In Ohio, I'd heard the best homes were those run by the Amish, the ladies really care, and with an 8th grade education, typically, they are glad for the job.

Yesterday's topic on problems with the care of the mentally handicapped kind of tracks with this issue - how much is society willing to pay? How much can society afford?  In home care services need to be increased, it's the cheapest option.

back in the day families used to take care of their own, after all these elderly took case of you at some point, nowadays elderly are seen as a burden and families would rather stick them in a home so they can have their own lives

There are a lot of people who have elderly family AND small children AND they have to work full time plus extra hours.  We live in a society where it simply isn't possible anymore to take care of everyone in the family AND support the family.  And depending on what kind of disabilities an elderly person has, this can be very stressful on the caretakers.  If caretakers have their own health issues (which they often do as a result of caring for everyone else except themselves) it creates an even worse scenario.   Rest homes, convalescent hospitals, assisted living facilities have a place and provide desperatly needed care that these families need. 

However, they are VERY expensive.  So in order to provide necessary care, they must hire young, inexperienced people who are willing to work at a low wage for the sake of job experience. 

These young ladies sound shallow, spoiled and totally selfish.  They have either been seriously warped and abused during their youth or they are disconnected from any sense of empathy or conscience.  That they could even share with their friends that they committed this seriously damaging crime, let alone laugh about it, just shows they don't understand how vulnerable others can be.

I think it would be possible for everyone to take care of their elderly family members on their own if the idea was devaled so much in our rampant individualistic society.  This mentality has been pounded into our cultural identity since this country began to detriment of our families and our sense of civic and social duty. 

If we took care of our own things like this wouldn't happen.

If we took care of our own things like this wouldn't happen.

Sorry, but sometimes it's worse.  Do you know how hard it would be to take care of someone day in and day out, who needs constant care?  I'm talking about changing diapers (a full grown adult with poopy pants, is not a pretty picture), feeding, bathing, never able to be left alone even to run to the corner store?  I've worked in a nursing home, this type of abuse is rare, there are a usually a lot of people around.  I have seen the results of children trying to take care of their parents--neglect can be a problem, not caring for them properly because mommy or daddy said "No, I don't want a bath"--my toenails cut or whatever and the sad cases of total burnout and the guilt that causes. 

There are a lot of standards a nursing home has to follow and every nursing home is surveyed annually and more often if deficiencies are found.  They are then surveyed as much as needed until the problem is taken care of .  If the deficiency is not corrected, the state will begin proceedings to close the nursing home down.

Eh.  I know this is hard to believe but even back in the day people sent their elderly to homes because they couldn't take care of them.  back in the 1920's, my grandmother had to send her ailing mother who was suffering from what they used to call simply dementia to be cared for because my grandmother had nine children and helped run their family farm.  The unfortunate thing was that in those days, nursing homes weren't available so greatgrandma went to an asylum...which reading between the lines of what my grandmother described it was essentially a zoo for humans.  There just weren't alof of choices and resources back in the day. 

That being said, as terrible as this case is and as wonderful as it would be if all families had the resources/time/ability to take care of their elderly, trying to sell this myth that the good ole days were better because things were so much better, is just that: a myth.  The difference is with the internet, cases like this are available to everyone nationwide, instead of hidden away as some community's secret shame. 

Trying to sell the myth doesn't absolve these two idiots of their behavior and places guilt on the families that didn't deserve this abuse.

i think if you have to send your family ti care homes you need to at least visit frequently, the home my gran went to was wonderful but there were a lot of elderly people who never had visitors and my heart broke for them, they were well cared for but lonely because their children and grand children could never be bothered to visit them

I have witnessed this neglect of visitation by family members too and yes it is sad to hear a mother and grandmother cry because their children and grandkids don't ever visit them. <ost I fear are to busy enjoying their own lives to remember how much love, devotion and time their mom or grandma gave lovingly to them when they were growing up.

I am not saying that this is the case because I don't know, but it is possible that they were working there while attending school, perhaps nursing school. I can't think of any other reason that young women their age would be working in a nursing home. That is a scary thought!

hometowngirl, I can understand your feelings regarding family taking care of their own but in many, many cases, they simply cannot.  Sometimes the patient just needs a LOT more care, sometimes skilled care to get by day by day.  Fortunately, today we do have choices of where we can send our loved ones, but many are forced to go with what will be paid for via insurance, medicare/medicaid.

Most nursing homes are very careful to follow state and federal mandates - they know darned well of the threat of litigation - they will do everything they can to avoid it.  Again, as I've said before, most health care workers (heck, the VAST MAJORITY of them) would never, ever dream of hurting their patients.

If your loved one wants to stay at home, consider contacting a home care agency.

BJ's65, it is refreshing, to find someone, like yourself, who is in touch with the REAL reasons people are forced to place their loved ones in a Nursing Facility.   It is not always because "they just don't want to be bothered" OR "they are too busy enjoying their own lives".    That's very ignorant for anyone to "suppose" when they don't even know anyone, who has been THAT insensitive.

Many families agonize, over having to watch their Father,Mother, Grandparent, Uncle, or Aunt, be placed in a place "with strangers" caring for them.   Many family members cannot visit, because they are living "out of state" and cannot afford the travel to where their elderly relative might be.   There are Dementia Patients who don't even WANT a family member to visit them, are combative, and angry, and uncontrollable.

When it comes to "abuse" sometimes the very family member, who has done all they can, to care for their relative, without any training, along with their own health issues, or economic issues (such as living out of their automobile, because they have been evicted, or because they have no home of their own) are charged with abuse, because they cannot provide the level of care, or shelter that the family member needs.   In that situation, a Nursing Facility is the only safe place for the Dementia patient, to be taken care of, and then again, sometimes, these patients have no family at all.  

Before any of you judge the families who put their loved ones in these facilities, make sure YOU have suffered the heart wrenching decision to do that to one of your own family members, because if you have never experienced the pain, or anxiety of having to make that decision, you are hardly in any position to judge anyone else's motives, or challenges in their own lives.    I applaud those who have loved their family members enough, to place them in secure Nursing Homes that they have researched and found to be safe.    For those of you so willing to criticise, the CRITICISM should be laid at the feet of your Senators and Representatives, that THEY are doing nothing, to have video surveillance mandatory, in these facilities, as well as the necessary "tools" and staff to protect your loved ones who yes, CARED FOR YOU WHEN YOU WERE A BABY.

It's high time that everyone visited a Nursing Home, before your children choose one for you, and saw for yourselves, that they are "profit making" businesses, who will leave your parent's food out, NOT provide defibrillators for the frail, because they cost $3500.00 apiece, and are safe to use, without repercussion, it is all about "profit" with them, therefore I am not surprised that these very mentally disturbed WOMEN were there abusing the frail, and laughing about it.    Had there been video surveillance, this would have been discovered early on, and there would have been proof enough, on video, to convict these TWITS as Sexual Predators, and Abusers of the vulnerable in their charge.    So, the answer then, is to insist that these places are REQUIRED to have video surveillance cameras in each room, including the bathrooms, where care of the frail can be monitored, and recorded, otherwise, this type of behavior, and abuse will continue, until enough elderly die, and someone with lots of money, invests in putting an end to the neglect and abuse, before YOU and I have to be placed there.

I think everyone has good advice for family's of patients in nursing homes, but my main concern is what about the people in nursing homes who do not have family or anyone who can check on them.  My next door neighbors are an older woman with Alzh. and her daughter who has epilepsy, eventually it seems that the mother will have to go into a nursing home and the daughter will be hard pressed to go and visit.  No other family that they know of.  What happens to people like that?  Are they just forced to endure what ever comes their way?  Are there no non-profits or volunteers orgs out there to help ensure that these people are being treated decently?  I live in GA, does anyone know of anything like that?  I'm thinking I may see what I can do in that area.  I have never started a non-profit, but I think this is an important area that needs help.

...or ugly? Gotta wonder about that county attorney, huh? These are some of the most thoroughly dispicible, heartless semi-human beings to ever slither on the face of this planet, to have repeatedly done what they did, AND LAUGHED ABOUT IT!!! I don't think there's any place in the furthest depths of hell that's hot enough for these cretins. I agree with all the posts that say that they should register as sex offenders FOR LIFE, and do hard time. These crimes are every bit as reprehensible as some of those crimes against children that result in prison sentences of 6, 8, 12 years in some cases. These people are pure slime. I can't find words big enough to express my outrage!

Yeah, imagine if it was two black guys that committed this atrocity, you would not hear any sympathy even if they were acquitted.  The only reason these people's homes haven't been vandalized is because they're young, white, female, and attractive.

Your right white and cute and they can get away with anything, look at the school teacher white cute that had sex with the boy she got a slap on the fingers. They should not see day light for a long time and yes they should be sex offender and have to registers and see how many job they get then.

I have a question for the once dad when did spitting in someones mouth or grabbing them become part of her job. You made it, I am sure as hell glad it not mine what a sick @!$%#es they are.

Jail time Jail time and lots of it.

That should of been considered a sexual assault. Being pretty probably helped alot. That was a terrible thing they did and they have been seriously punished. If a man did this he would be labeled a sex offender...

There is something very twisted and sick that our society allows for bamboozling when it comes to pretty faces, whether in this case, trying to get out of a traffic ticket or in to the White House.

Just as we need to stop premature judgment of those whose appearance doesn't fit our individual mindsets of what is acceptable, we must stop this collective whitewashing when something is clearly only superficially beautiful. 

cheers, well said!

Chicago Linda-- I agree with you to a certain extent, but not all nursing homes are bad. There are a few good ones out there, but finding them and trusting them with a loved one is a very hard thing to accomplish.  I would definitely agree with you on keeping someone at home for as long as possible. Unfortunately that isn't always an option.  

Not all are bad, but back to costs - The top one in the last Ohio town I lived in, per the piano teacher who had her dad there - $100,000 a year.  My neighbors in NJ were shocked when faced with finding a home for his mother - $100-$125k a year.  I'm in the wrong business maybe.  My mom had to put Grandma, who this summer fractured her pelvis in a fall (age 92), in a nursing home for about 2 weeks - $6000+ a week. This was a "good" home, my mother volunteers there weekly to help feed those that can still eat.  Still, she went over and found her mother "parked" in a wheelchair in a hall like a potted plant, half dressed and hair uncombed, slumped over.

(Grandma went home for the last 4 days of her life, as the staff let Mom and her sister know that it was a matter of a week or less till she would pass - they were right, but then they see this sort of thing every day.)

I wish there was a way to better insure the dignity of those in their final stage of life.

Chicago Linda, read my comment above.  While this might be ideal, its simply not always possible. 

My Grandma lived at our home until the end. And it is very very difficult to deal with someone in the last stages of Alzheimers. Bed ridden, taken care of 24hrs a day, baths, even moving them is so difficult. Not many people have the resources to even begin to pay for home care. Medicare only pays for short visits and very few supplies. Sometimes people have to hand the care to these facilities because social security or whatever helps pay for that..but not much for home care. My Grandma was lucky, but my mother and Aunt who handled most of the care struggled hard every single day and gave up every free minute of 5 years of their life to do it. Some people simply can not afford to do that. It's sad it's not easier. When get old and helpless we all hope someone will take care of us in the end properly and loving and not let rich spoiled brats molest us and abuse us while we scream in agony and fear.

I took care of my mom and my auntie until they were hospitalized and moved to nursing care facilities. I thank God everyday that they didn't live very long after that happened! I went to visit my Auntie and she was strapped down, the straps on her wrists so tight her hands were ice cold and turning color. I immediately got the supervisors and even the police to make them answer for it. My mother as well.  She was a very heavy woman and they checked her as infrequently as possible so as not to deal with that, but she cried to me that they had been hurting her,and she had bruises several places on her body. Same thing, police and supervisors. I wanted witnesses damn it! I got them. Both places are still open, but they are audited every other month on different days as a precaution to that behavior continuing.

why kill them?  Put them in a lock up with prisoners who haven't been with a female in a looong time. 

Really great idea!!!

Family member could ABSOLUTELY bring civil suits on these girls and they should.. at least it would ruin their credit... Winning a civil case like this would be a walk in the park...

Actually I think the family would have to sue the home, not the girls.  The home was responsible for the care of its residents.

I believe that the girls' could be attached to the suit as agents of the employer with the employer as negligent because they "ought to have known or had a method to monitor care."  However, because it is not medical negligence or malpractice but abuse, it is no longer a civil complaint against the girls. Insurance does not cover criminal behavior.

the family members would have to sue the facility, but I believe they could name the girls in the same lawsuit.  The families should by all means consult an attorney and file the approproiate lawsuit

Guaranteed the parents of these 2 idiots are defending their little princesses tooth and nail.

I have heard and believe, the more the family comes to visit the family member in the facility, the better care they receive.

My mother had Alzheimer's we made sure one of us went by everyday. Make sure you can visit night and day they should have nothing to hide.

You just might be suprised.

lfm-755050: I had to place a loved one in a nursing home and as rdstar & Carol stated the more you are around the less likely something will happen.  My best advise is

1. Be present and visible.

2. Be observant as much as possible of everyone around your Mom.

3. Set-up a regularly scheduled meeting with the nursing home to "just check in"  (I have one every two weeks with the charge nurse for the unit and the administrator every 2 mo just to talk about how they are doing). 

4. If any thing seems wrong, you get that funny feeling - say something and ask questions.

The worst I ever dealt with was petty theft, well accused petty theft - they had a candy drawer raided, or they gave some away - who knows ; )

Please don't be afraid to take the step for your mom, you do need to visit at any time day or night.  Ask questions and always ask why.

Seconded by me! Read my post above.

You can also check out state inspection reports on the Web.  I can't remember whether it's through Medicare or Medicaid because it's been a few years since I had to do this.  At least in GA, you can find out really cool things -- like who has no rodent control program, who hires convicted felons, and so on.