Hard times forcing families apart on holidays

Living more than 1000 miles from any, even distant, relations has made any notion of 'family' a thing of the past for me.  Having had to move with the jobs all my life, never being able to put down any 'roots' seems to be the way today and even more so tomorrow.  Time was when a person would get their first job as an adult and that's where they'd be until retirement; not so for years now! That is the demise of the 'American Family'.  This year especially it was a choice of sending gifts home or travel, not both.  I've not seen any of my family in over 2 yrs now, but I'm hoping this spring to visit my 80yr old mother in FL when she is there to escape the cold of the northeast.  I know I'm not alone, but it doesn't make it any easier Christmas day to wonder how the family is.

Just like last Christmas, I'm still homeless and moneyless nearly 1000 miles from the nearest family.  I try not to think about the holidays at all and treat them like any other day.

I never thought things would be as bad as they are in my life.  I am a single mom of one child.  This is the first year that I couldn't buy my son a gift.  His birthday is on the 16th of December and couldn't afford to buy him a birthday gift either but he is old enough to understand but I'm the one having trouble with it.  I'm with my family on the holiday but it just stinks that I can't afford to do anything for them.  I just have to accept that the holidays are to be with the ones you love and gifts aren't important.

Coping? I suppose that's a way of looking at it if you're surviving.  Let's see...In the last year my wife was worked so hard by an arts organization (The Kansa City Ballet) with 12 hour shifts and no break for meals and despite doctor's orders to just give her a regular work schedule that she developed fibro myalgia and severe migraines to the point of being disabled.  A well-known charity that lied to those it recruited by phone kicked me to the curb when I began questioning their practices and made it known that even the MDA shouldn't lie and use "Jerry's KIds" as a tool to be able to raise money.  I worked for a banker who was a former loan officer and got a close up glimpse of the kind of bottom feeders that circle around that industry and lost that job because the uber banks screwed that smaller banker as they crashed and burned the entire economy.  My eldest son is is Iraq because a corrupt obviously mentally-challenged President whose only talent is dodging flung shoes started a war so friends of his like Blackwater can gun down the people we're trying to help while filling their pockets at the taxpayers expense.  The clamor of suffering and need grows daily while an employee of FOX news re-writes history so that the architechts of this clustrf**k can set up the national ponzi scheme that is good Christian moral leadership in this country.  I am at work again and top producer in my company and am just now in a position to regain some lost financial ground up until another attorney working for a hospital seizes my bank account for the other 30% of multiple thousands of dollars of bills due to her illness not covered by now non-existent health insurance.  My youngest with autism is shattered still from learning that all the nice people who smile at you and speak to you in fluting schmoopy voices aren't really friends and will forget you live when it's expedient to do so.  Welcome ro the arts my son, my son.  So much for his dreams of being a dancer.  A hard lesson to learn at 13.  My middle son works his ass off and like me sees the world and its attendant mechanisms as one big pile of excrement with the good bits not yet destroyed reserved for the rich who are phenomenally ungrateful and unrepentant for all that they've done to the rest of us.  My health is flagging and frankly I don't really want to do the daily maintenance on myself because it's too time consuming and disheartening to watch me wind down by the numbers inexorably.  So I work.  I caretake my wife do most parents duties most days by myself and deal with as 14 year-old self-absorbed engine of chaos and filth because based on past experience that's what 14 year old males are like.  Some of them never grow up and become President and look where that's got us.  I hope all you Republicans enjoy the misery you've caused.  Remember it.  Yours is coming and it will be of Biblical proportions.  I live for that day.

This is the first Christmas without my only son, who is now 20, and my heart is breaking.  My husband and I relocated in order for him to be employed, and we will not be with any of our family this year.  We're over 1000 miles away from anyone we know and it is very depressing.  I have not been able to find work and everything is extremely tight for us, so, no christmas gifts, decorations, etc.  Our son attends college, works and was afraid to leave home to jeapordize his job.  It is extremely sad that the all mighty dollar has forced a wedge between families and traditions die.  The saddest circumstance about all of this is that one never knows if we have another chance to spend another holiday with  friends or family members.  So if you are lucky enough to be with family and friends, don't pass up the opportunity to enjoy this Holiday Season together!!!

The state of our finances this year has dictated we change a few things, however, we still have a lot to be thankful for. No gift exchanges for husband and me, but we still are fortunate enough to be able to give our adult kids and grandkids a little something. One son is holding down 2 jobs, and going to school for nursing; a hard thing to do at any age. The other is working opposite from his wife to cut down on childcare expenses, hardly seeing his wife at all.

Sacrifices are being done on a daily basis, and tho it will be different this year, we are healthy and live locally.   Christmas will go back to what it has always meant.   Family and togetherness.

This is the first year I haven't gotten ANY gifts for anyone.  My husband and I never really got into the gift exchange thing with each other in the first place, but we always got something for our parents and nieces and nephews.  Not this year.

Instead, I baked our gifts and people will be getting a plate of cookies and a small loaf of pumpkin bread from me. 

In one way, it makes me feel sad to not be able to do more, but on the other hand, it was nice not dealing with shopping hassles.

I would like to let everyone know that there are people no matter how destitute we feel that will have a far worse holiday than us. We are still American and after all we will struggle and we will survive. I too have a 17 year old child that will not be getting an XBox 360 or any other elaborate gifts this year, instead in our family we have all drawn names and have decided to have a "creative Christmas" we will have one person to spend no more than $20 on and will have to be creative with that. In the past we have gotten large bonuses and now I feel like the old ant and grasshopper story and I should have put more away. Oh well lets all look at the reason for the holidays, it's not gifts or material things but the love we all have for one another and the love that God has for us.

Its a rough year.  I'm a single working Mom of teenagers.  I am a real estate broker and made about 20% of what I normally would.  I keep the job because I need the insurance, and no one else is hiring.  I was not able to pay my mortgage this month, and pray that a transaction will come through before foreclosure.  I have borrowed money from family and friends to pay bills and buy groceries.  Luckily, we are all healthy.

I took a few creative steps to raise cash that were easy and worked:  I sold old jewelry to gold buyers, took kids outgrown sports things to a 2nd hand store that pays cash, took my finer clothes to a consignment shop.  For Christmas, I dug out my old albums and traded them for music CD's for the kids (christmas presents)  Did the same at a used book store for books and movies that I can use for neices and nephews. 

I will bake a few things for friends and make photo albums for loved ones.

Its a reality check for all.  The whole situation of borrowing and spending was so out of control.  It makes you focus on what you really need and how much you can do without.  Love your friends and family.

This Christmas, I will not be with my family.  I lost my job in the summer and took a huge paycut just to have insurance.  So, there will not be any gift exchanged and I decided that I would not decorate either.  If we just jumped into January, I would be okay with that. 

Ok,,,,people quit whining and get a grip! Families are very important but if everyone buckled down and quit sniveling maybe we could pull this economy out of the dump! It was a the selfish investors and people refinancing that created this mess. It was the american people NOT our GVT who mad a mess of things. My husband and I have 3 kids and have spent all but 1, yes 1 holiday AWAY from all our families because we had to make a choice on where to live to survive not what was all warm and fuzzy! You want to whine you wont see your mom for the Holidays,,,,,my spouse and I who have been married 13 yrs & have 3 kids have to live 125 miles apart and work 250 miles apart just so we can keep the jobs we have to afford to support out family. So when your whining about not seeing your family at the holidays,,,,think of all those of us who spend every day apart from our loved ones working!

Another year with out extended family. I have my wife, my daughter and a brand new son! Unlike a majority of our bloggers I am not negative. It is much too cold up north even if we could afford it. I am happy in the south. I am blessed to have not a great paying job but a job. We can not afford much when it comes to gifts. We have found some other orphaned families in the area who will not be able to afford the trip to the great white north this year. We will all be celebrating Christmas Eve together. Eating and Playing games but no gifts. I believe it will be good as you are willing to make it. If you are sad and let the negativity consume you then you will be lost.

Mery Chritmas to all!

I live 40 miles away from one sister and 2200 miles away from the other.  I saw the sister who lives on the other coast for Thanksgiving and will see the one living closer for Hanukkah.  As far as gifts, since I don't buy anything at this time of the year, the whole meltdown hasn't affected me vis a vis gift-giving, as everything was bought last September.

My husband and I will see our Mom's at our home, and his sister and brother-in-law will be here.  BUT...... My son and daughter-in-law will be spending the holidays with her parents as they have every holiday for  the last 5 years.  We just don't seem to be good enough to see on the holidays.  My oldest son got himself in financial trouble and will take no help from anyone, so I doubt we'll see him either.  It bothers me that  the grandma's are elderly and  who knows how many more years we will have them?   The selfishness of  the 30-somethings is astonishing!!!!

so this is the suckiest x-mas ever. fine by me, not a big fan anyway. i told my 9 year old daughter she gets things year round when things are good and this years not so good. she has her mom, grandma and aunt that all do it up big. this will be a story to tell her kids one day.

We are ok with all the changes, When you grow up without as My husband and I Did you learn to bend like a willow, nothing is more important then your Faith and Love for each other everything else is Life and nothing else :)

holiday greets to all who reads my little post // as an american living in another country for years now, ive not spent one holiday with any family, including children, for about 5 years // just can not afford the travel and this year we can not afford to sending gifts anywhere, let alone ourselves // i know the distance and lack of seeing family especially at holiday times which are a reminder to celebrate life, family, togetherness, adds to my poor health condition / our money what we can gather from savings (husband lost job; foreigners cant get jobs here now in Japan .. dont be fooled by any online advertisement hype either young ppl .. there are thousands of stranded ESL teachers who just suddenly were let go) anyway, what money we have, we use for food, bills, and medical costs // i noticed most stores and online sites dont even put out a Christmas theme, let alone a religious one //  TPTB not only are toileting our economy, they are taking away our hopes as well ... no matter how bad it is, dont let that overcome you!!   Yah yah "Jesus was born in summer .. probably"   You know what? that doesnt MATTER!  Christmas is a time to recall Gods goodness and forget the worlds bad.  Even if you cant make a phone call, write a letter to friends and family.  So what if it doesnt get there before Christmas day.  Just do what you CAN and give thanks you have strength to do so.  Faith Love Truth and real Peace of Mind to us all.

My husband and I normally take our 4 dogs in our motorhome to see our grandsons in TN, 600 miles away, but due to the price of diesel, we will be driving there Friday and coming back on Sunday.  My husband has to work on Monday and I just lost my job, which means about $1200 less per month.  This may be our last trip for a long time and I'm not even sure if I can or want to pay the payment on our r.v.  This coming year, even though we will have a new president, looks bleak for us in every way...and following that in 2010 our electric will be going up 30% and our house is total electric. Happy Holidays folks.  We're all in this together.  It could be worse.  My son-in-law has a 4 y/o cousin who was diagnosed with a brain tumor in October and was given 12 weeks to live. It is inoperable and this week is her 8th week since being diagnosed.  I pray to God there will be a miracle in 2009 that will make it all worthwhile!

Wow. So much bitterness in these comments!

The question was how are we coping with being unable to go home, see our families, afford our traditional Christmas, etc.  We live in a town in the mountains and are expecting severe snow, so a number of my friends are holding "orphan" dinners for those of us who can't make it home to our families.  I've got a number of invites to share in other families celebrations. If the weather does end up destroying my own travel plans, I'll also be volunteering at our local St. Andrews church which serves dinner to those in need and does a hot meal distribution to the elderly and disabled in our small community. The thought of not going to see my mom and brothers and sisters is sad, but life is what we make of it. Maybe if I can't make it home, I can help bring a little of home to those here who need it.

I'm really enjoying not traveling to see family. While I miss seeing everyone...I really enjoy the "quiet" of me, my husband and our three little children. It's a lot easier to concentrate on the magic of Christmas without the hussle and bustle of aunts, uncles, cousins, neices, nephews, etc.

I guess I'm all about looking at the positives. Will we miss out on some stuff, yes. But, can we still make this a magical Christmas...of course. We mailed out Christmas exchange presents. I think the thing that I will really miss is the White Elephant gift exchange...because my husband's family is HILARIOUS! :)

We've been forging new traditions for several years now as I am becoming less mobile due to a back problem.  This year, my daughter brought home a tree and has the lights and decorations on it and my son has been running boxes up and down the attic steps.  The shopping's been done on-line, mostly by February.  I didn't spend as much this year, except on my kids.  They've had a $125 limit ever since they did their first Christmas list in Excel.  If there is money to spare, we donate to a couple of charities.  I donate my time, when I can, to civic organizations. 

Many of the people whom I hold dear have passed on.  We will hold them in our hearts with warm memories of Christmas past. 

Merry Christmas! 

Merry Christmas.  I spent twenty years serving my country in the United States Army.  Of that total, eleven were spent in foreign countries.  I understand what it is like to be away from your family during the holidays.  When we start to feel down and sorry for ourselves because we can't make it home, remember the Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines that are in harms way every day.  Everyone of them would trade their position for one of ours here in the United States.  Times are hard and money is tight.  Jobs are going away at a record rate, but in most cases, we are not being shot at every time we go out and we don't look for an IED along the interstate as we are driving.  Keep things in perspective and make the best of the situation you are dealt.  Call your family and stay in touch through mail and the internet.  No matter how bad you think it is, someone else has a harder situation.    

I do feel for all the families that cannot spend the Holidays together whether it be job losses or economy.  Our family spent two Christmas without our only Son while he served in Iraq and I can tell you that is way worse than any economic problem.  This year he is home and has his first baby.  We are also spending way less than in past years as most Americans.  Just remember even if you can't be with your loved one because he/she/they live in another part of the US its better than being deployed to another country.  Thank God for what you have we are truly blessed.

I know this is nothing new... I as well am having a very difficult time. I have two children and am a widow since 2004, we had no life insurance because when my husband got sick t he company dropped it. I have an adjustable rate mortgage that I can't get out of. I will probably lose my home... Merry Christmas! I am bitter, but it's my fault. I thought my job was going to always be there and remain productive, however, now my credit is too bad for a refinance. I call my relatives but can't even think of traveling to see them. They can't travel to see my family either. We have a couple of devices that keep us in touch (a computer and phone). It is very embarrassing to me that I can't buy my kids Christmas presents, but they are very understanding. As much as we don't have.... we are truly blessed! I hope the new year brings everyone here more hope and a better life!

I am doing the same thing I do every year.  I am trying to instill the TRUE meaning of Christmas (which by the way is Jesus' birth) into my preschooler who is bombarded with materialistic images every time he turns around! 

By the way, I keep hearing how times are tough, but where is this happening?  I go to the mall or Kohl's and I can hardly move for all the shoppers!  Who exactly is cutting back?  Because I sure don't see it where I live!